One Part Crazy Cat Lady, Two Parts Pack-Rat

Hubby is on the second dump run of the day. We are disgusting people.

All but the two non-removable seats were taken out of the *cough-cough* not work vehicle that we didn't borrow and aren't taking advantage of the free gas......and filled to the breaking point with basement crap. And we.....aren't.......finished.......yet!

I don't understand it. Yeah, we are a consumer driven household and it was alot of Styrofoam in the end....but let me list some of the items found so that you get the full range of disgustingness:

1) 17 cheque books (unused) from our last house. We moved 3 years ago.
2) PGA 2003 computer game. It would help you to know that hubby goes through video games like toilet paper....on a very regular basis.
3) One black leather glove. OJ, dude....got your number.
4) Important work related (that be cop-paper) documents from 2001 for hubby.
5) White spray paint. I have never.....ever......in my life......spray painted anything white. That I can remember.
6) 5000 Barbie shoes. And one hiking boot for Ken.
7) 8 lbs of cat hair.
8) The movie "What about Bob?" - enough said.

We now have a couple of cardboard recycling trips to make, and the shredded Styrofoam to clean up. The cat had a very good time down there.

Oh....and I found the patio umbrella.

Office Killing Spree Imminent

Say wha?

This afternoon speaking with the nurse at the hicksville hospital:

Me: "So, realistically how much pain will I be in after the surgery?"

Nurse aka satan: "Well, it will feel like you are having a gall bladder attack."

Me: "WHAT! Are you serious? Oh....my......GOD!"

Nurse aka satan: "Oh no, not the full blown writhing in pain attack. More of that beginning feeling of an attack."

Me: "Oh......."

Me: ".............wait, that's not much better."

Nurse aka satan: "Well, they will give you medications for all that."

Me: "Damn straight."

Throw in the fact that apparently I'm NOT allowed to drink 24 hours (I know! Like that would make a difference...) before hand and you have one hell of a psychotic mess on your hands. NOW I'm worried.

I am still not impressed I have to drive an hour into the prairie wasteland to have some doctor who lives HERE operate on me. Healthcare logic. But hey, parking is free.

We'll always have the parking.

UPDATE: satan informed me I can't wear makeup. Any makeup. The transformation to psychotic mess is complete.

Ack - Stop the growth hormones!

OK, let's freeze time. Or better yet, go back a few years.

Daughter asked me this morning if making yourself throw up can kill you. At which I had a minor heart attack and proceeded with the interrogation. "Where in the crap did you even hear of doing that?"

Turns out it's a story in one of her "Difficult Situations" problem solving books for tweens. OK, so I dug my own grave by giving that book to her. I gave her my usual over the top explanation designed to scare the living snot out of her.

"Oh yes, it will kill you. If you do it long enough the acid from your stomach makes holes in your throat and you slowly bleed to death. It also causes cancer of the throat which THERE IS NO CURE FOR! (I have no idea if that's true or not) And it rots your teeth. It also makes you have a heart attack when your heart gets too weak."

Daughter: Looking suitably worried. "Will it kill you if you only do it once?"

"It can. If you are in the bathroom trying to throw up undigested food and it gets stuck in your throat there is nobody there to save you. You'd die."

So, I think I might be safe on this one. I don't think she'll even consider it. Hubby just rolls his eyes when the kids pipe up with one of my explanations.

Son: "No, brothers and sisters can't get married. The babies come out with a bunch of arms and legs and look funny."

True story.

Flashback - 1

I grew up in a village on an Island off the West coast of British Columbia. It was a pretty sheltered existence to say the least. Sheltered, but unique. I can remember wandering the woods behind our house for hours, finding old forts, abandoned houses that had collapsed but left enough of their skeletons behind for me to imagine pirate hideouts or forgotten families that had died there of some unknown tragedy.


If I wandered far enough in one direction I would come to an old country road that ran through farmlands, and there were horses there that I could stand close enough to almost touch.


In another direction if you wandered into the woods far enough you came to an old forestry road, and following that road would lead you to an entirely new neighborhood. There were Shetland ponies in those woods that someone had built a rough pen for. I guess they didn't have room on their own property. And I guess in those days nobody cared that you kept them on public property. I can recall wandering far into those woods with a friend one afternoon and finding targets on trees and on the ground. We were very scared, and very curious. Our poking around was noticed and the owners of the grounds came out and explained that we were in an archery range, and would we like to try it out? So we did. We were gone for 7 hours that day and I can clearly remember the consequences. I think back with hate of how my mother reacted, and with love and tears at how my father reacted. Ironic as he was the one charged with spanking me that time.


I can also remember walking along, and then crossing the main highway. The thought of my children even walking alone on a normal quiet street fills me with terror. I guess it's a reflection on the kind of mother(ing) I had that I was allowed to do this. Once the highway was crossed if I walked about 45 minutes along the road I could make it to the little store that sold 10c bags of chips and freezies. It was a hit and miss operation, the most coveted colour was white and those went first. If you were lucky enough to get there first, and lucky enough to have enough money you could re-sell those things and make a killing. Enough for the pop that cost more than everyone's allowance. I would pass the little village pub and tell anyone who was with me, "My dad designed that! He's an architect." I can't remember anyone ever telling me that I had already mentioned that, I think I was somewhat of a celebrity by association. The child of the actual living person who designed a building in the village.





Further down the highway was a piece of property a school friend lived on. We were never the best of friends, but in the summer when our options were limited and there was boredom all around us we made do with each other. I don't know if her father built this place, I rather suspect the purchased it at a later time. Maybe even leased the property. If he did build it, there wasn't the same sense of importance that the mention of my father's contribution generated. It was a silent kind of judgement for something that didn't quite fit in. It was called the glass castle. And before I was born it was an attraction you could stop at, admire the ingenuity of somebody building a miniature castle out of mortar and glass bottles, and do some mini golfing. I never did get to go into the building. It was most likely vandalized by that point and not safe for kids. Behind that area was an old drive-in theatre. It had probably been abandoned for a decade or more, but it was a place of discovery for us. We would try to break into those old concession buildings....in the hopes of discovering some forgotten treat or some loose change. I don't think we ever made it in. We would look in the speaker stands in the parking lot for squirrel nests and found wasp nests instead. That abandoned lot still shows up in some of my worst dreams.


I think the most clear and prominent feeling that I get thinking back to my childhood was the sense of freedom. Knowing I could just leave my house, and go exploring through the woods, through the neighborhood, or on a trek down to the store to spend my 50c allowance. It's a freedom my children will never know. It breaks my heart as little to know that.

A Brand New Adventure

....starting tomorrow.

I will post details soon. Let's just say - I may, may, be branching out from the Rum to....no, I can't share just yet. Soon my precious, soon.

(And yes, I did just watch 2.5 out of the 3 "Lord of the Rings" movies...what can I say? I'm super-fantabulously awesome.)

Working on the "Blah" Files

So, the sun comes out and my crank gets itself on. I think there is a wee imbalance in the stew of my brain. A tad too much salt, maybe a chili too far.

It's a doom and gloom kind of morning.

I have to go to Walmart after work for some groceries. I hate Walmart. Hate it more than I hate sardines. And man, let me tell you....do I ever hate sardines. I've already done one hellish trip this week(end) and I'm not in the mood for another. Then again...maybe running down one of the people who work there for the sole purpose of pissing me off will have some therapeutic value. They really do come in for a 15 minute shift just to piss me off. I've done research on this.

Oh, and there's a sharp pain behind my left eye. I'm not completely positive, but I'm pretty sure this means that it's about to explode. Reasonably sure at any rate.

Transfixed

So, while waiting for hubby to come home from work last night I happened across a cooking show. I don't watch them usually...yawn...but this one caught me. Initially it was because this dude was in his English kitchen garden and it reminded me of my gut-wrenching need to be back there. Breathing that air. Living among those people.

Once I got over the pain, I became completely transfixed by three things. The lesser of which was the food. It was for this salad recipe and it came out edible looking. The second was the insane way in which this guy ran around his garden...and I mean he ran....gathering stuff, sitting on the ground, chopping on empty crates. It was manic, and fascinating.

The main reason I got sucked into it? His mouth. The way he talks...it's mesmerizing. I couldn't look away. He sounds like a totally normal English dude....but his mouth looks like it should be on a muppet.

Miscellany

Making mommy proud. Son spent an hour or two last night creating a Lego scene. As you can see here, Darth Vader is choking out this guy while his ninja henchman stands guard. Over yonder where you can't see is a group of 3 storm troopers roughing up some guy in a green shirt...and two other's in the middle of nowhere who appear to be doing the "goose step".

Pfffha! That's what I say to all those who suggest the boy is violent. Creative...yes, creative is what I shall call it.

I like to call this look, "You know it's sad to take photos of your cat like this right? I mean, I'm a cat and even I know this is sad."

The rain continues to fall. Which means the trees and plants continue to live. It also means I officially have cabin fever and if hubby isn't careful I may end up with yet more "ideas" for what we can do around the house. Dangerous. Grandma insisted the boy get a new dresser. His old one still functioned but it was broken and chipped in a couple place. Because that's what he does...he breaks and chips things. Hubby and I are taking bets on how long the new one lasts.....anyway, I put that in his room and then decided to overhaul daughter's room while I was at it. As a result we have the extra tables in our hallway. Our very small hallway. I almost walked face first into it today. I'm pretty sure the cat did last night when hubby sent her sailing from the room.

Oh, and I have also decided that this is the best idea/invention every made by the hands of man. Ever.

Point Proven

This is precisely why I don't help daughter with artistic homework projects. She hasn't an artistic bone in her little body. Well, she has a great imagination and I think once she gets over the hurdle of not caring how to spell things then she might be a great writer. But as for drawing pictures? Or lettering? Nuh-uh. And I happen to have that bone. So it's a case of me not being able to not take over her projects.

I made her throw out her first poster because quite frankly it was crap. And I don't mean that like I was being harsh on her....even she can do better than the first draft I saw. She ran out of room on the lettering and just kind of threw the ends of the words off to the side of the page. Ummm, no. Not going to cut it. So today when grandma brought them home (sob!) we sat down to start fresh. She did the lettering. And missed the whole point of using a ruler to draw a line to write the letters. The letters varied from capitals, to lower case, on the line, and off the line. Shoot me...please! So, I redid the letters. She asked me to draw flowers and vines, so I did. I re-did her subtitle lettering because once again...the line idea didn't click in her brain. And then I went over the illustration box lines. And coloured.

So, I spent my Sunday doing grade 5 homework. I better get an "A".

In for the long haul....

Celebrating 11 years of marriage today. Celebrating in the best way possible....childless. Considering there was a certain silent little "stranger" at our wedding it's quite ironic.

Hubby wrote in my card this morning..."Your still my hotness!"

And I smile.

1997

What? Nobody else things a gold painted cherub on a green platform is pure class? How about the hand-rolled burgundy beeswax candles behind it? C'mon...get with the program!

Therapy Bill Says, "Higher, higher....higher..wait, no - higher...."

Even though this will result in my son being beaten on a regular basis upon entering high school, there are some words he mispronounces that I refuse to correct him on. It's just too cute.

It remains to be seen if it will still be cute when at 30 he utters (from our basement where I strongly suspect he'll be living...):

Buffalope = Buffalo
Oxygent = Oxygen
Indianen Jones = Indiana Jones
Chicken = Steak/Beef
Chicken = Pork
Chicken = Turkey
Vietmanese = Vietnamese
See-Three-Pee-Pee-O = C3Po from Star Wars
Hairboy = Hell Boy (the movie)


Here are some words he hasn't mispronounced since that dreaded day he learned to speak:

Gun
Sniper Rifle
Sword
Spawn (apparently this has something to do with video games? I dunno...it's hubby lingo)
McDonald's
No
Cheese
Mine

Why it's a Good Day

1) The kids are at Grandma's until Sunday.

2) I can drink much rum tonight (see above)

3) Hubby is working night shift and won't be home until after I'm asleep

4) See 2 and apply to 3

5) I just viewed a photo of hubby's ex-girlfriend...who has blossomed to about 350lbs. I know...I'm a bitch.

6) It's Friday. The paralegal is in late. My inbox is empty.

7) Tomorrow we are hitting a matinee...alone...and eating out at a nice restaurant....alone.

8) The cat didn't reject the wood pellet kitty litter we switched to.

9) Rumor has it work will now be fully covering my medical leave in June for 2 weeks.

10) I saw the sun today. Truly....it was....warm. And not raining. Miracle.

I scared the living snot out of daughter last night. She kind of brings it on herself with all the spooky books she reads, and spooky shows she watches. Around 10:30 I was going downstairs to get something and heard a man's voice talking. Kind of uncool when you are home alone with the kids. It was coming from daughter's room and I realized she had popped in a sleepy-time CD. Well, I'm not listening to that crap all night so I went in and unplugged it. On my way out I bumped her bed just a little....and I happened to be wearing a white shawl that I'm sure resembled a ghostie. She freaked! I assured her it was indeed me...explained my purpose for being there....and hoped she wouldn't be asking to join me in my bed. I like to have the bed to myself.

I love Friday.

Donation to Science

Please, someone please explain to me how it is possible in the space of one day for one little boy to do this......

In case you were wondering that was his umbrella. There is not one piece still attached to anything. Speechless.....

Grandma informs me it blew inside out and he tried to fix it. I can only assume he tried to fix it by stomping on it....throwing it under a bus.....possibly running it through a trash compacter a couple of times.

I'm telling you...the scientific community could learn great things from him. Great destructive things.

Hong Kong Here I Come!

I've decided to move to Hong Kong. No, I can't speak Chinese. And no, I don't do well with crowds.

But....BUT....it's a shopping mecca. My heaven on earth.

A certain friend's certain husband is "visiting" there right now for work....he works in the...ummm, on a boat. He works on a boat. Anyway, I quietly mentioned to him that I would LOVE a knock off Louis Vuitton purse. I guess he remembered (I don't really think it had anything to do with the capitalized letters of multiple emails...not really) and he went looking. He found me knock-off Burberry. Which is like...potato-potaato to Louis Vuitton. They both make me equally happy. And then, well the dear soul went above and beyond the call of duty and sent photos of a couple more purses...and I get to pick another one! That's almost grounds for saintliness. So, I am going to be the proud new owner of Burberry and Dolce & Gabanna fakies. Unless he gets stopped at a border somewhere and they take them away.....I apologize to that dear man in advance for any body cavity searches he may have to undergo in the pursuit of fashion. But it's like...totally worth it!

Rhymes with "Flan"...you are the man!

Lawyer to Die Slow Horrible Death....Pancakes - check!

What the crap?

Seriously, what is wrong with me.

I spent the weekend in a prolonged series of naps, with some good ol' fashioned sleep thrown in.

Yesterday I came home from work, eventually fed the kids (because there is some stupid legal requirement here to do that) and napped on the couch for a couple of hours. Then made my way up to bed.

Fast-forward to lunch hour in my office...face down...dead to the world. I even did a couple of those "Whoa, I'm falling of a cliff!" motions which means I'm seriously tired. And now am also the proud owner of a mish-mash of lines on my right cheek from the hoodie I used as a crumpled up pillow. Special.

No...not pregnant. Not even a chance. Hubby took care of that possibility about 8.5 years ago right after son was born.

"Yessir doc, that will be one c-section for the missus...and a snip here and a snip there for me. Put it on our tab."

I don't think any man has ever gone to the "chopping block" quite so willingly. I think that was the week following the "fuchsia can of paint meets two year old daughter in the basement" incident.

Wall paint + toddler + TV/electronics = Vasectomy.

One day remind me to tell you about how the vasectomy went...because it makes me giggle.

Plutonium Grade Guilt

The kids usually opt to listen to a CD at night while they read. Sometimes it's a story CD and they just take the lazy road to China and use their ears. Whatever...imagination still becomes engaged so they aren't killing the brain cells....that's what I tell hubby at any rate. I have my doubts....my offspring seem to have super-human abilities when it comes to snubbing out the offending little cells that cause such disorders as 'common sense' and 'logic'.

Last night son came to me and in his sweet little boy voice asked, "Mommy, do you know where the book is? The one that goes with the Crunching Munching Caterpillar disk? I want to read with the CD."

Of course I had no idea. He hung his head, uttered a little "Ohhohhh." and went back to his room. And 24 hours later I couldn't take it anymore. I went into the basement of doom in search of one...little...book. And my patio umbrella. We forgot to bring it up when we took all the patio furniture out of storage. That was right before the big blizzard. The big blizzard that did this to my patio furniture.

Anyway, while I was down there I thought I'd take some of the summer toys upstairs. Mainly because I had to dig through them to get to the kids books. I went through the books in corner "A" and came out with a handful of Dr. Seuss, Robert Munsch, and Spiderman. Son loves those books.

I then crossed my path and went over to corner "B" where I thought the umbrella would most likely be. Nope. So, I crossed again and went over to corner "C". You may think this is a pretty easy task, but you would be wrong. Oh so wrong. The floor is covered. Absolutely covered. And to prove my point I have a bleeding hand and very sore feet. Not to mention Styrofoam sticking out of my toes. The cat had.....either an orgy or a raging shit storm with a block of Styrofoam down there. Corner "C" is the most organized of the lot. It holds my bookcases and the millions of books I used to have time to read. I thumbed through every single book and the Crunching Munching Caterpillar has gone AWOL. Officially gone. Next was corner "D"....strategically hidden behind a 6x8 (that would be feet) canvas print I got at Ikea. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm not allowed in Ikea unsupervised anymore. No umbrella.

Now, let me ask you this. How does a mother....fucking.....umbrella.....disappear? How in the name of holy HELL can it just vanish? I don't get it. Unless it's not in the basement of doom. Crap. Now I have to go search the garage of wretchedness.

Imaginary Mom Kicks Reality Mom's Ass

There is a book out there called "I was a really good Mom, before I had kids."....I think this pretty much sums me up.



I spend a majority of my day at work planning out the rest of the week. Remember? OCD. On days where hubby is working afternoon shift (such as today), I spend a majority of my day fantasizing about the fun I'm going to have when I get home from work. Kids to bed quietly, my own TV choices, uninterrupted reading/bath, and a bed I can stretch out in. I also imagine taking the kids to the library after work. Or to the ceramics studio. Or to the book store to have hot-chocolate and browse. Or maybe come home and bake a batch of cookies for both their classes. And then I get home and remember I'm just not that cool.



If only my kids could see inside my head...after the trauma of the "other stuff" floating around in there they'd totally get what an awesome imaginary mom they have.



On the other hand, if my kids saw me this happy to be in the kitchen cooking/baking....

....they'd be smart enough to make a run for it.

On a more positive note....day two and the trees haven't died. I half expected to pull into the garage this evening and see them keeled over...little suicide notes written on their leaves. Perhaps it's the "green thumb" thoughts from A Little Left of Lost? Or maybe the trees are looking at me as sort of a science experiment?

"Hey Fred....wanna have some fun?"

"Yo Bob, yeah...I'm always up for a yuk!"

"OK Bob, you go for a week, grow a couple of leaves and throw her off yeah?"

"Yeah...I gotcha....then?"

"Well, then Bob you go ahead and turn roots up!"

"And you Fred? What about you?"

"Well Bob, I can't make it that long in this hell hole. I'm going to drop all my leaves tomorrow....and right after she does that twitchy thing and starts to cry I'm going to topple over."

"Damn Fred, that's cold. I love it!"

Attack of the Plant Killer

Actually, I don't limit myself to just plants. I can kill trees, shrubs, vines, and fish as well. I am a well rounded person no?

After living in this house from "scratch" and having put the back breaking labour into moving dirt, installing sod, swearing at the drainage issues, crying at the bumpy results.....I kind of love my home. I think when you put your own labour into it then you are more attached. Ohhhhh....I get it. Damn you mother nature. Damn you. That's why I couldn't leave them at Walmart during the double temper tantrum of '05.....I get it.

Anyway, we installed grass and it mostly lived. I guess that falls into the category of "it's so hardy even you can't kill it." Last year we made a little garden in the front and hubby installed a rock wall. That didn't go well. He still hangs his head a cries a little when he walks past it. Personally I don't think it's that bad. And 95% of what I planted came back this year. Unusually positive results. I think my mother in law may have snuck out and performed some life saving procedures during my absences. It would be just like her to be so devious. We have one house plant in here that is thriving. Mother in law brought as a baby from her monster spider plant at home. The one she stole the baby from off the apartment lobby plant. The kids still remind her that she stole her plant every time they see it...probably because I keep reminding them. Anyway, I told her I'd LOVE to have a plant like that, and yes she could bring me one. If she is in charge of watering it. So, my mother in law comes to watch the kids and also takes care of the plant.

We have had very bad luck with trees as well. We spent oodles (that translates to hundreds) of dollars at our last house on a tree that seemed to forever more teeter on the brink of death. Every now and again we'd go out and poke at it, shrug our shoulders, look at our neighbor's thriving trees and just shake our heads. Yesterday we bought our first "new house" tree. A little ornamental cherry tree that we plopped in the front. It's cute...it's crooked....and I am sincerely hoping it makes it because the ornamental cherries make the best hubby ammo. And I have wicked aim.

Today we went in search of another tree. Our backyard is a good size (for a city lot) but it looks out onto the townhouses behind us. And our extremely "nice as hell but dumber than dirt" neighbor built his deck almost over the fence so he has a lovely view of us. I feel the need for a little privacy. Well, in 5 to 10 years I think I'll have it! We bought a cute little Red Maple tree and plopped that in the back yard. The kids were pissed I didn't go with an apple tree....so next month I'm going to see if I can sneak in an apple tree without hubby noticing. The next yard challenge? The drainage...and figuring out a better finish than dirt on the side of the house.

Conversation with daughter.....

Daughter: "Mom, do we still feed the fish?"

Me: "Yeah. When we remember."

Daughter: "Well, when was the last time we fed him?"
Me: "Ummm, last week I think?"

Daughter: "Well, I think we should start feeding him again."

Me: "uhmhm"

Daughter: "Like, right now."

She doesn't "get" me at all.

PS - Just wanted to say a quick "Thank-You" to everyone who sent such nice messages regarding the anniversary of my Dads death. It made me feel very good on a sad day. And that's a pretty damn good accomplishment in my books.

McSpecial Boy

See those round bruises on the boy's chin? And his cheek? And not visible on his neck?
This is what happens when you jam the end of a toy gun into your face while watching cartoons. And we have to walk around in public with this.

We are taking the behemoth (ie. motorhome) back to the storage lot today, then out to lunch and to a matinee of Narnia. Once again, God bless civilization. And to think I gave up bathing in a bowl over this.

And then they came back....

Dear sweet internet, Lord how I've missed thee. It's like being without much needed toilet paper for an hour...you don't know just how much you'll miss it till it's not in hand.

Camping was a bust. The campground was....well, the song "One of these Things is Not Like the Other" was running through my head. I knew it wasn't the best lake...rocky and a bit barren. But location, location, location - a half hour from home. Unfortunately even though we parked beside the 100k motorhome we still had to deal with a bunch of young drunk party animals. And since turning "Not 29" I've become a serious fuddy duddy. I am a firm believe in Rum while camping, but not in excess. Especially when there are kids around. There was one magnificent exception to this rule.

Meet Mr. Wandering Drunk Man. Apparently, once intoxicated, this man was informed by his co-campers that he could have "No more beers!" until he got signatures from everyone in the campground. On his body. And some brilliant soul who has achieved the same level of "evil thinking" as myself, handed Mr. Wandering Drunk Man a permanent Sharpie marker. He was pretty. And I sincerely hope he has a job he must attend on Tuesday morning.

So, having paid up for 3 nights we pulled a usual move for our family, kissed 2/3 of the money goodbye and left for home. It just wasn't fun. The kids got their chance to swim in the glacier fed lake, and do some rock hunting. And we got a chance to read up and sleep. I got sleep at any rate. Hubby had to be up early to go into the city to work for a couple hours. I even managed a nap this afternoon.

I think tomorrow we will hit our Vietnamese restaurant and go see a movie with the kids, God bless civilization.

15 Years Ago.....

15 Years ago today my Dad passed away. It's hard to believe it's been such a long time. He was the most wonderful man I've ever met, and I was so lucky to be his daughter. He was the best father anyone could have hoped for....and my biggest regret in life is that my children will never know him. The fact that I had an evil witch from hell for a mother, let's just say life would have been unbearable without him. He took up the empty space she left, and filled his own as well.

My dad is in the back....this was taken about 1938 on the coast of England. My older uncle is in front him, and my other uncle is the bump being hidden by the newspaper.

Here he is around 1954 (the year my mother was born) at the RAF Base in West Kirby.

Internal Clocks and Gardening...Not Necessarily in that Order

Last night I think I accomplished as much as any human being can accomplish in a short time. On my way home from work I stopped at the bank to deposit my pay...waiting about a million minutes behind "super cool convertible guy". Unfortunately Mr. Super Cool Convertible Guy didn't know how to use a drive through banking machine. Or an ATM. He came across more as "Mr. I'm Trying to Be Super Cool But That's Hard to Do When You Have to Open the Door of a Convertible and Attempt to Use an ATM" guy. I took all of 3 minutes to deposit and withdraw. Then again, not everyone has trained their digits to use an ATM and debit without having to look down.

We drove out to get the motorhome from the storage lot (about 15 minutes away) and then split up. I got stuck with Walmart. Luckily not with the kids. Hubby got stuck with gas duty (yes, I thought it was appropo as well). I'm not sure how it happened, but a 3 day camping trip takes $200 in groceries. F-ing Walmart....every......single.......time. Of course, it could be that I was so immersed in my freedom of shopping without appendages asking "Can we look at the toys? Pleeeease? Can we get something small? Puuuuhhhhhleeeeese?!". So I may have repeated a few aisles just for the sheer pleasure of it. I even spent a full 5 minutes looking at every possible option for trash bags.

So, I had taken hubby's keys and after taking longer than was strictly necessary I realized I had better get going. We loaded up (by we I mean me, and son....and a little bit daughter) the dry goods on the motorhome while hubby went for McStomachache. I don't generally encourage eating at the only restaurant in town that provides a free "cleansing of the bowels" with every meal. But, desperate times. No way in HADES I'm cooking. After dinner the kids went for showers and bed. They seemed incredulous that it was "already!" bedtime...but, the clocks don't lie. Hey.....ohhhh, I wonder if I changed ALL the clocks one night if I could get them to go to sleep earlier....hmmm. File that under "Brilliant Idea 368".

At this point hubby and I began puttering. The grass needs to be raked out. And the front flower bed was full of crap collected from the winter...though, I thought the accent of 2 feet of paper towel that somehow ended up in there was quite charming really. At this point is looked alot like toilet paper....and nothing completes a house like some newspaper and toilet paper scattered around. Once again, we realized that we have no business stepping out our front door. While we are arguing about how much work raking will be, which rake to use....and who has to do it....our neighbors are fertilizing their front lawn. I think they sit in wait and pop out at opportune moments just to make us look bad. Fertilize? We are lucky if we manage to water the damn thing.

Of course being a long weekend the kids have no school tomorrow. Wouldn't want the teachers to only have 3 days off like the rest of the civilized world. That wouldn't be fair now would it. It's not like they have months off during the nicest time of the year or anything.......
No school means sleep in for me though. And I don't get stuck with the kids all day like grandma...so I guess it's a win win. For me. Anyway, my internal clock is apparently in fine working order. No, not the one that tells you to reproduce. I stomped the shit out of that thing years ago and haven't heard from it since. No, I mean the one that wakes you up when you forget to set your alarm clock. Sure, it was 10 minutes later than I had planned, but who's complaining? Chances are I would have hit the sleep button anyway.

Know what would really make this day awesome? If nobody else showed up at work today...now that would be a great way to ring in the weekend.

Can you keep up?

As you can tell, I'm a little unsettled these days. Spring itchies I guess you could call it. The first clue is that I've changed the formatting and layout of the blog about 46 times in the last week. Miss Shops Alot went through a harrowing 16 changes in one afternoon before one of the voices in my head finally got up the balls to take charge and shout out "This is the one!".

The next clue you can't see. I hope...because if you can then that's a little creepy. Alot creepy really. I'm keeping my house clean. This includes dusting. I know! Me, dusting. It would be like....me ironing. Completely unreasonable.

And the final clue is the fact that I am working up the nerve and a carefully executed plan (that I'm thinking I may categorize into a binder to make it more fun for ME!) to clean the basement. It has become the collecting point for all our crap. And hubby is getting a little obsessed with the fact we may be growing spiders down there. So, in June I have definite plans of thinking about going down there and maybe doing something about this. Perhaps.

The plans for this weekend have taken a sudden turn. Hubby had the brilliant idea that we should head out to a campground tomorrow night, stay 3 nights, and he'll just go to work from there on Saturday. This presents a couple problems. The first being I can't plan that fast. It's going to be by the seat of my pants, and you know that means come Sunday I'll be sitting on the floor of the motorhome, rocking back and forth and crying because I don't know how to make a meal for 4 people out of bread, milk, and apples. The second is that the motorhome is in storage, so we'll have to get it tonight, get gas, then get groceries. After work. You know, in the 2.5 spare hours I have between working and sleeping. Argh! And C, I am going to be stranded at some campground with 2 children while he buggers off to civilization to work. I swear that man better have slurpee's in his hands when he comes back or so help me....

So, the rum will be packed and the internet inaccessible. I know, I'm crying at the thought as well. It just seems....so inhumane.

You can't make me!

It would seem that my dear friend Blogger has decided that I've had enough of the mambsy pambsy normal editing in the composition box.

I am not allowed to use the enter key to start a new line, nor am I allowed to have a photo show up where I put it. It has been forbidden. I am being forced to learn (& use! The nerve!) *shudder* html. This causes the same sort of blinding terror that the printer cartridge aisle does to me. It's not that I can't learn...I just know how much effort it will take to actually go through with it an learn it. Then not only learn it but retain that information. And I'm not into big effort or blinding terror. Dear Blogger, please forgive whatever transgression I may have unknowingly committed and allow me back into the "easy" area. Oh dear God please!

Yesterday was pretty cool....one of my favorite online children's clothing stores, CWD Kids, named Miss Shops Alot as Blog of the month. It's like.....being almost famous, only not really famous at all. This is daughter logic. "Mom! It's totally the same! Except different.....". Falling into the "cool" category as well was when hubby decided that we would go out for after dinner treats. We had spaghetti for dinner...this is important to the story. So, as I was saying he wanted to go out. Originally it was for New York Fries at the mall. I refused...stomped my foot and refused. It's in a mall, I told him that I couldn't go to the mall as we don't want to spend unnecessary money right now. "Well, then let's go to the mall and you don't spend any money." was his response. 5 minutes of me looking at him with a blank stare.....he finally gets it, "Right....OK, that won't happen."

Then I mumbled "If I don't get a peanut buster parfait I'm going to kill you all...."....or something to that effect. Off we went! Ice cream treats are the BEST on those spring days where you can just about taste the warmth of our 5 day summer. Fast forward....remember what we had for dinner? Spaghetti and ice cream x 4 people = one stinky ass house. Mental note....bread and nothing else if we go out for treats again.

It's payday, the sun is shining, tomorrow is the last day of the week before a long weekend....it might actually be a good day around here. No promises though.....

Miscellany

It would appear that we just might not get snow this week. Cause for celebration no? There are tentative plans to head out on Saturday night and spend a couple of nights camping somewhere near the city. It will have to be "near" since gas is about to hit another high...and I don't want to fork over $400 to fill the motorhome. Kidney yes, $400 no.

I updated my Facebook status today to read "...is thankful it's hump day." Meaning it's Wednesday. It would seem that in England they don't use this term. I got a very....confused....message from my cousin's daughter. Yet another example of vocabulary extremes. More.....

Rubber: In Canada it means "anti-baby device".....in England it means "eraser". You try being a 12 year old kid from Canada on her first day of school in England (an all girls Christian school)...what kind of face would you make when another 12 year old girl asks you for a rubber?

Fag: In Canada it's a derogatory term meaning "boy who loves boy"....in England it's "cigarette".

Nap (pie): In Canada it's something you force your kids to do and wish you could....In England a nappie is a diaper.

Boot: In Canada you wear it....in England you stick stuff into one at the back of your car.

Carriageway: In Canada you get a blank stare if you use this word....in England it's a highway.

Touque (two-kk): In Canada it's a hat. Actually I think Canada is the only place this is a real word.

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So, we don't believe in "babying" our cat...she can get her water from the tap like the rest of us!

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When bad hair happens to good people.

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Is there a Dr. Freud in the house?

I know there has to be symbolism in this dream somewhere. If only I could narrow it down a little.....

Dream: In a strange office building with my co-workers. For some reason there are no walls. The boss lawyer man is standing over by the file cabinets....there are screams....and I look over to see the file cabinet crashing down on him. And by the blood curdling screams from co-workers I "know" that the corner of that cabinet did something very wrong to his head. I head out of the room/office to reception. Which is set-up like my old job - whatever. And as per usual in my dreams my attempts to dial "911" fail. I can't get the numbers punched in the right order. Takes alot of trying. Honestly, I'm not that challenged in real life.

Now, there are a few key points I'm thinking....

a) No walls...pretty sure that means something;
b) File cabinet crushing boss' head. Yeah, I think that probably might "mean" something....?;
c) Taking 15 minutes to figure out how to put three digits into a telephone....whoopsie right?.

I woke up feeling quite satisfied.

On a totally unrelated note....I was watching one of "my" shows last night. The television viewing in our home is split into 3 categories. Hubby shows....those would be anything along military lines, car shows (he is convinced that one day he will magically be able to jump-start the manfixcar-gene in him and know all about them), and really obscure movies. "This is my boom stick!"....he's watched "Army of Darkness" every time it's been on and I still don't get the point.

Then there are the kids shows. Pretty self explanatory. Whatever adults find annoying the kids will have on.

And my shows.....generally geek related (history, documentary, etc) or something to do with criminology or medical freaks. This time around it was "Most Evil" on Discovery Civilization. I love this show....it's a ranking system for the most evil people in history - very informative. Anyhoo....during this show I learned something that floored me.

In the first year a person is diagnosed with Schizophrenia, their brain mass reduces by 5%. Just disappears. By the end of the 5th year of their illness their brain mass has reduced by 1/4 starting at the back and progressing all the way to the frontal lobe. What an awful disease! I was always under the impression this was simply a mental disorder that was treatable but difficult to keep treated. The physical effects, well, it kind of puts a whole new light on the whole thing. There is no re-growing that stuff. Trust me....if I could have I would have.

Daughter is sick again, cold and croupy cough. This means that is approximately 5-10 days I'll be sick with another plague. I plan on doing a few things differently this time around. For instance...NO cold medicine. Only Ibuprofen. Lobotomy. That's on my short list of things to do as well.

Half-Assedery....look it up. It's a word.

Finally got around to posting some more stuff on Miss Shops Alot. Enjoy!

Conversations from Rum-ville.....

Last night sitting at the kitchen table doing math with daughter while hubby "conveniently" made dinner...I won't fall for that excuse again.....

Me: "I don't understand this! What do you possibly need to know this for? You'll never use this. I hate math!"

Daughter: "No Mom, you have to switch these two numbers then multiply..."

Me: "This is stupid."

Hubby: "Honey, be positive....."

Me: "I'm positive this is stupid! I don't know how to do this one....we'll skip it."

Hubby: "What is that show called? Are you....?"

Daughter: "Are you smarter than a fifth grader! Hey, I'm in fifth grade!"

Me: Glaring at hubby. "Nice. That's really nice."

Hubby: Laughing - unaware that he is in for a very long dry spell.

Let the divorce proceedings begin....

So hubby has this fear of spiders. I don't know how I could have been married to him for 11 years without actually knowing how strong this fear is...rest assured if I had known it would have been used to my advantage long before now.

They've Named Me Momma was kind enough to take a moment from her revengeful scheming (to which you can be sure I'll be adding my 2 cents) to pass along an email about the Brown Recluse Spider and what happens when you get bitten by it. I won't post the pics...because they are really really disturbing. Click on the link, then google the name under images.....yuuuummmy!

While we were visiting in Florida, we had discussions as to the creepy crawlies that live there. An infestation of Black Widow spiders was mentioned. And hubby did the icky icky hands shake. My first indication that he might be more than a little disturbed by these things. My next indication was his careful investigation of every corner, nook, cranny and possible attack-point of a spider in the rental home from that point on.

So, of course the moment I had this email in my hands I had to forward it to hubby. I knew he's just love it. And by love I mean take 10 showers and cover himself in DEET. I was on the money, he spent hours today looking up this spider. And alot of other spiders. And after dinner this evening he showed me some of the more graphic sites he found. I leaned over his shoulder to take a closer look. I swear...my hand had a mind of it's own. There was very little pre-meditation. It slowly made it's way up his back and gave a tickling contact on his neck. The results were....impressive. Furniture was kicked, he jumped...and I mean jumped.....and I retreated to a safe corner to laugh my ass off. I know, extremely mean. But SO satisfying. He's still mad at me.

It was worth it.

I would like to take a moment to say that even though he apparently has a severe "dislike" of arachnids....he has taken down some pretty bad-ass criminals, and wouldn't hesitate to drop-kick a bear if necessary. He is a manly man.....just with a small Achilles tendency. My GOD I love discovering new weapons.

They are SO over it....

Thomas was a bust. Like a BIG ass bust. We showed up to the park...meaning I had to drag myself out of bed at 5:30 on a Mother's Day Sunday....and didn't even frickin' ride thomas. I thought seeing as son used to love the show that he'd get something out of it. Apparently not. We left before we even rode on the ride. $65 well spent.

Luckily I was soothed with a Mother's day lunch of Vietnamese food. I even managed a nap that afternoon. I love couch napping. It's the best kind of sleep one can get (I am thoroughly convinced).

Grandma came over for her dinner and present (we went "all-out" and got her a crock pot....together now...."ooooooooohhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhahhhhhhhhhh!") - son was asked to say grace and it was very hard not to laugh out loud. So hard that we didn't even try to stop ourselves.

"Here comes Jesus! Be our guest......" - almost like "Watch out! Here comes Jesus a'walkin' down the road!"

Back to the grind today. I hate Mondays. HATE.

Rainbows and Kittens

So, today is looking better. Instead of drowning my sorrows at living in a life-sucking-frozen environment with Rum, I'll be celebrating....with Rum.

The government decided to pass along our income tax return last night at some point. I love waking up to money in my account. I love it more when for some unknown reason there is more in there than we claimed. Sadly it's all spoken for already, we have to pay for a trip out to hubby's cousin's wedding this summer....but at least that's paid for now!

So remember way back to yesterday when we had a blizzard and a bunch of snow on the ground? This is the corner of our back-yard this morning.....

It's no wonder we have so many emotionally/psychologically disturbed people in this city. This environment fucks with your mental well-being on a daily basis.

I'm spending a fun filled day doing laundry (bedding - ugh) and preparing food. We are heading off to a park tomorrow in the city to ride on Thomas the Tank (who is visiting) so the Mother's Day dinner we have planned for hubby's mom has to be taken care of today. I've got tarts in the oven, steaks marinating.....and that's as good as it's going to get!

We are also looking at camping next weekend for the long weekend...the one where we were supposed to be in Vegas before we realized we didn't have a million dollars.

May 9th....it's Spring!

Therefore we need a big-ass bunch of snow. Because that's what spring means....lots of beautiful, fluffy white snow.

That is a photo of our deck this morning. Notice how the snow accents all the furniture we dug out of the basement? And how it just makes you think "springy" thoughts? Lovely.

On a completely unrelated note...hubby has taken to wearing his bullet-proof vest around the house. And to bed. I think he thinks I'm becoming unstable. *Twitch*....I have no idea what he's talking about.

Hmmm....

Last night in the kitchen.....

Son: "Mom, the neighbors have new furniture!"

Me: "They do?"

Son: "YES!" - with great emphasis....

Me: "How do you know that?"

Son: "I watch them through the windows." - with eyes growing wide and creepy.



And all I can hear in the back of my head is that line from Silence of the Lambs....

"It puts the lotion in the basket....."



We are expecting 10 cm of snow over today and tonight. You can't see me but I'm crying. And sharpening my ax. I think if I sneak across the border to Montana...chop up a few people - only bad ones of course....and get caught I can convince them to jail me in Florida. Yes, that sounds like a very good idea.

I filled up the SUV with gas this morning. It was on "you better put gas in me or you'll regret it". That's about as empty as you can get and still move forwards. Want to guess how much it cost? Go on....$50? $60? $70? Nope....$81 F-ing dollars.

More Florida....must...keep.....dream.......alive!

Captain Jack & Elizabeth Swan ready for the pirate & princess party at Magic Kingdom.

The gang at the pirate & princess party (minus 3 of the They've Named Me Momma offspring.)

The Jacks.....son channelling Johnny Depp very well.

Attitude? What attitude? She's just a sweet charming girl. Really.

Fireworks!

Back Sucks Ass

As you can see at day 11 I gave up. Exhaustion and a hectic schedule won out, and I wrote no more. The trip ended well....we got in a couple more trips to the D Parks, saw some neat stuff....I got on another death ride. Ugh. Tower of Terror at MGM (yep, I'm still calling it that). Better than a roller coaster, but not by alot.

The f-ers at "Collar-Rent-A-Car" managed to piss us off one last time. We were getting all our luggage out at the drop off, stood there for a minute....two of the employees were sitting off to the side reading a paper...ignoring us. Nobody came up to us. Nobody said anything. We thought, OK...they have all our info they must just take it and put the charge on the card. We start walking back into the airport and they call hubby back. Giving him lip about leaving. Needless to say he didn't take that shit and they were told exactly where they could stick their "Collars"...if you can't manage to get your fat ass off a chair to come and do your job DO NOT give me an attitude. Especially given how absolutely thrilled I was to date with their service. I'm sending out a letter as soon as I get my ass in gear to write one. NOT impressed.

The planes home were fine. No big issues. Well, other than having to re-pack a suitcase in the check-in line. Luckily our Minnesotans had forgotten (because I forgot to give it to them as they were leaving) the famous travelling duffel of theirs. I had it stuff into the outside pocket of the suitcase - so I was able to get our 17lbs of over limit clothes into there and check an additional bag. I'll have to send that back to them one of these days.

Our house looks like a shit storm hit it - clothes everywhere. I'm hoping (fingers crossed!) Grandma takes pity on me and puts the kids clothes away this afternoon. I'm not holding my breath though.

More photos will be forthcoming...I just haven't had a chance or the will-power to get to that. I'm back in the office as well which is sucking the spirit right out of me. Ugh.

Day Eleven in the Land of Warmth.....Tired. So tired.

There has been an underlying feeling nagging at me that is different from our last visit. It's subtle....I've had trouble putting my finger on it. Thinking about it this morning I've realized it's the change in our children. Our last visit the kids were still blown away by the experience of seeing their beloved characters in real life. Of meeting a princess, or Mickey in an environment produced entirely for their enjoyment. This time there haven't been any requests to meet a character. It's been excitement about the rides and attractions. Mythbusters has now replaced The Jungle Book, Ghost Trackers fills the space left by Toy Story. Where they used to watch a new Disney movie over and over until every moment and line were lip-synced in time, now they look for something a little less cartooney to fill their time. It's a sad kind of milestone.

We went to the Princess and Pirate party last night (photos to follow whenever I work up the gumption to actually edit 114 photos). It's a pretty cool idea actually, after the park closes we all had access to the fireworks, rides, and attractions. A fraction of the crowds and with extra little shows and goodies thrown in. No lines that we experienced (though, I heard those poor suckers at the Ariel show stood in line forever) and there is something very exhilarating, almost naughty, about being on the grounds at midnight. Son was Jack Sparrow...a very convincing Jack Sparrow. He looked very cute - and he got alot of attention. He's not the attention seeking kind so this was a bit unnerving for him. Especially all the attention he got from the girls - older girls. Daughter was Elizabeth Swan. Yes, I am aware I have a serious co-ordination and matching issue.

We saw some shows, watched the parade, then the group split up to hit various rides and attractions. We went to Splash Mountain. Once again, super fun ride....but we hit an extra wave and were drenched. It was a bit chilly after that. The kids loved it though. Well, daughter loved it. Son was pissed his pirate hat lost some of it's shape and that his fake beard might be running. No worries there, Mommy uses GOOD makeup. The liquid liner held it's shape and his beard was immaculate. God help his future wife and/or husband.

We were up early to see the Minnesotans off. We are here until Tuesday morning and then back to reality. That's going to suck. I have a very "off" feeling about work - I think something is going to be going down when I get back. I would assume something bad. Just a feeling. The kids are still in bed (thankfully) recovering from their late night. We are going to rest tonight and maybe head into one of the parks this evening for a few hours.

Days Nine and Ten in the Land of Warmth.....Time has lost all meaning.

It's getting to the point where I can't remember one day from the next.

For instance, I know we walked our asses off yesterday with the whole gang at Magic Kingdom. Details are a little sketchy though. We enjoyed the rides....and I worked up the courage to not only climb aboard Splash Mountain, but also Big Thunder Railroad. And I liked them! Well, I liked Splash Mountain - and that level of like may have had something (maybe) to do with the fact that hubby caught the entire wave of water with his head. Truly. The other one was tolerable. And the swelling in my legs seems to have started to go down. I don't feel like I'm about to split in half (Ha! So there Disgruntled Housemother! I got your cancer-like-edema beat by like a week...oh yeah I did!) and my feet are turning brown. I don't know that I've ever had a tan where I didn't blister, peel, blister some more, then turn white again. My family get's what is known as the "white" tan.

My burned lips though...that's another story. I was digging the collagen like appearance without the money being given to the dude with a bad tan (sorry Doc W.....you do have a really horrible fake tan) - even the slight peeling was easily covered up with gloss. Then I got that tingling sensation that tells me the weak British skin genes are being overpowered by the German ones and my lip is about to erupt into a cold sore. And I have some weird spot in the corner that is dry and cracked. Ugh. Being medicated.

Daughter decided to wear her Princess Aurora costume for the day - and you'd think that she would have realized she may generate just a smidgen of attention. Not alot, there were a whole lot of other princess' there....but a little. The first ride attendant to say "Hello Princess!" threw her for a bit...she became quite embarrassed. She's at such a great age (insert shooting motion directed at my cranium). No, it became clear that this is a tradition, or I guess you could say "practice" there that if a little girl comes by dressed as a princess you must greet her as such. You can imagine how the rest of the day went I'm sure.

We had a good day overall, and proceeded back to the rental house where the littlest Bull-Zapper was having a birthday celebration. I like ending my day with cup-cakes. Kind of like how I started the day with an ice cream Drumstick. The kids were a little miffed as they sat down to their waffles.....but I calmly and quietly explained that while it may seem unfair, the moment the own their own houses they can eat whatever they like for breakfast.

Today was a "families fend for themselves" day. We headed off to Magic Kingdom, while the Bull-Zappers went to Epcot and "They've Named me Momma" stayed home while her kids went to school. We took the ferry boat from the parking lot to the Magic Kingdom today. You know mix it up a little, try something new, avoid the school group in tie-dyed t-shirts pouring into the Monorail by the hundreds.

We finished off the area with the Jungle Cruise Tour (where by the way, if you happen to go to the little remote controlled boat area and stand to the left, there are a few hundred Cichlids - those would be fish - in the water who looooove tic tacs and pretzels. We had to be a little inventive) and hit that and the Pirates of the Caribbean. Son loved that - he's going as Captain Jack tomorrow night to the Pirate and Princess party.

We always try to get to the restaurants a little early as it gets so busy and we meandered our way into the Liberty Tree Tavern. We sat down...and 3 minutes in we were approached by some lady in a costume. This doesn't make me feel safe. I don't really get along with people in costumes. But...I played along. We were asked to ring a bell, and make a proclamation to all the people sitting around waiting for their seats. I guess this is considered a pretty special thing...we got a certificate and the best seat in the restaurant. We still had to pay for our food sadly.

After lunch we were about ready to nap. But..the kids weren't. So we dragged ourselves off to a couple of other rides/shows. Space Mountain was closed which the boys were bummed about. Not so much the girls. On the Transportation Train ride thing we went through the Space Mountain area and saw the machine in light. It looks as scary as it feels. No wonder I almost died on it last time (and daughter lost her shit). We threw in the towel early and went back to the house with slushies in hand. We may have developed a bit of a slushie addiction.

I sat down outside to read while the kids swam. This led to me sleeping outside while the kids swam. Full on, mouth open, drool hanging sleep. I guess I was a bit tired. It was boys night out so they were headed out the door when hubby comes back and tells me I need to call the rental car place and tell them we are leaking transmission fluid. Greeeeaaaat.

I'll take a moment here. The rental car place (not mentioning any names...rhymes with Collar) is on my shit list. It bugged me for a couple days that they tricked hubby into the insurance he didn't need. I finally called en route to Cocoa Beach (aka the place where skin melts away to a red raging pain) and chewed them out. And, not surprisingly, they were not helpful in the least. Not even a little. I could have driven all the way back to the airport and signed a new contract, where they may or may not decide to charge me more to rent. Uh-huh? Want to play the "guess which orifice my foot is aiming for" game? I was pissed - I chewed out a manager then hung up. Wanks. So today when I called I was ready for a fight. And I got one. It would seem that hubby had to be here when they came. And he needed to show them his Driver's License etc. Excuse me, what? I flipped...brought up the insurance issue.....bitched....brought up the fact he wasn't here.....bitched.....and asked them if they were going to compensate us for him having to give up the evening out and the tickets he's purchased. Then they told me that if he called in they could come and take the van away and bring us a new one. When they called back they told me I would have to sign for him on the new contract. Hmmm, so can you change my insurance info? Oh no ma'am...you have to go to the location you rented it from for that. FARK! I bitched that guy out....then said fine, whatever. They showed up, I signed MY name (always nice when a rental place asks you to forge someone else's' name") and bit 'adios' to Old Red and gave an 'Allo' to Whitey. Heaven help the phone person who answers my call if I find out that thing has less than a full tank of gas when I turn it on tomorrow. I put $50 and a kidney into that last one.

I'm about to head off for a shower and sleep. Boys aren't back yet....hopefully they won't be too late. I can handle cranky kids at the party tomorrow, but cranky hubbies are something I don't want to face.

Photos

Waiting for our German "Stuff Yourself Till You Explode" Buffet in Epcot

The broken ride...and walking around inside the ride area. Can anyone say "Thank the GOOD LORD ABOVE this was not during 'It's a Small World'"?

The Family about to enter Magic Kingdom.

You know, princesses need therapy as well.

My kind of float!