If You Call Me a Mommy Blogger I'll Stab You


Friday, October 19, 2007

Pity Party - Table for ONE



I'm throwing myself a little shindig in my office today. Nobody else is invited...it's my very own Pity Party. And yes, yes in fact I would like a tissue for my issue.


I think this might have something to do with that whole Karma is a bitch thing (see previous posts)....that laughing when someone falls down tendency....apparently it's now my turn. Crossing the road in the crosswalk of death (dramatic...but honestly you kind of have to step in front of moving vehicles there to get anyone to stop) in front of my office this morning my adorable little Guess silver pointy shoes betrayed me. They took a look at that sidewalk and said "Uh-Uh!" - then gave up their grip and I went ass over head. Well, I guess not that bad. More like knee directly to ground. I'm not entirely sure how I managed to cut open the top (as in the part you see when you look down at your feet) of my foot and my knee. I guess it's one of those secret hidden talents I have. Like being able to touch my wrist with my thumb. I could probably run my own little freak show if I tried hard enough.


So, I am sitting here with a throbbing foot with the one bandage I could manage to scrounge up in this office and a Kleenex over my now burning knee. Pity party is in full swing. There is even blood - now you know it's serious. I think I need the rest of the day off.
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Last Night
Conversation between daughter and hubby at the food court at the mall. Discussing the relationship between mental disposition and carbonated libations.....
Daughter: "Why aren't you drinking root beer Dad?"
Hubby: "I have to be in the mood for it."
Daughter: "What kind of a mood?"
Hubby: "In the mood to drink it."
Daughter: "But what kind of mood? You know, happy...sad....excited...."
Hubby: "Root beer-ie"
Daughter: Blank Stare
Mom: Blank Stare
Son: Slow nod of absolute confirmation.

Scribbled by Why Mom Drinks Rum at 7:54 AM

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Things that make you say "Hmmmm" - Inspired by RUM

  • In medieval England jurors weren't fed until they reached a decision.
  • The Chinese used to scatter firecrackers around the house - as fire alarms.
  • 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
  • A child laughs about 400 times per day. Adults laugh about 15 times.
  • The blood vessels of a blue whale are so wide that an adult trout could swim through them.
  • Some beaver dams are more than 1,000 years old.
  • Male hospital patients fall out of bed twice as often as female patients.
  • 25% of Americans think Sherlock Holmes was a real person.
  • The leading cause of death in Papua, New Guinea is falling out of a tree.
  • Babies are born without kneecaps.
  • In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
  • Los Angeles is 2cm closer to San Fransisco than it was a year ago.
  • In her entire lifetime, Queen Isabella of Spain (1451-1504) bathed twice. King Louis XIV bathed three times.
  • Per capita, the cities of Winnipeg and CALGARY drink the most Slurpees in the world.
  • More than 50% of all the lakes in the world are in CANADA
  • Belgians once tried to deliver mail using cats. (It didn't work.)

Meet the Repressed Pirate Mom

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Why Mom Drinks Rum
Alberta, Canada
Working full time as a legal assistant, newly divorced, raising two kids who despite my attempts at supression are stubbornly strong willed, and living in a busy city longing for the simple life. Madly in love with the keeper of my peacocks.
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Words of 'wisdom' from the Rummy One (and various people I've stolen from)

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Some people are like slinkys; they serve no useful purpose, but they do make you smile when they tumble down the stairs.
When I was a kid we had a sandbox. Actually it was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.
It's a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.
You know what I miss? I miss the old days, when I'd think up a sinister scheme for world domination and friends would show a little emotional support. I mean come on now....really.
Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you: I have absolutely no idea how this sentence I'm currently writing is going to finish. When and if it does, I can only hope it makes some kind of coherent ceramic pineapple vibraphone.